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8 Signs Your Bandmates Are Holding You Back

Written by Sam Friedman | Sep 9, 2015 02:00 PM

Image via smh.com.au

Have you ever felt so excited by a new band that you ignored the possibility you were being held back by your members? Maybe you're old friends and you can't imagine hurting your relationship, so you pick up their slack in the band, over and over. Sometimes you form great musical relationships that just don't have what it takes to flourish because not everyone is committed fully. While there's nothing wrong with having different priorities, it can be problematic when you want to take your band to the next level but are being held back by your members' lack of devotion. You might love playing music with them, but sometimes you have to let go of old relationships in order to fully realize your passion. Here are eight signs that your bandmates might be holding you back.

1. You're hardly practicing as a band

This is never a good sign for any band. Even when you're not gearing up for a gig or writing new material, there should always be steady rehearsal. Of course, a break is deserved after a long tour, but generally, your band should actively be getting together to practice. If you're the only one who's around to show up, there's a chance your bandmates just don't have the dedication you do. Maybe they have kids, a highly demanding job, or just other priorities – it's okay, no need to be upset at them, but keep in mind that they might not be ready to commit to the future you have planned for the band/yourself as a musician.

Not practicing keeps you from progressing musically as an individual and a band. Sure, you can always practice in your bedroom, but if your goal is to be in a band, you naturally need to be practicing with a group regularly. If they're not able to make practice time and time again, you might need to move on and find people who can.

2. Your bandmates aren't proactive about booking gigs

Maybe you're the point of contact for all the venues in town, so it makes sense that you're scheduling. It's good to have a point person, but it's not good to be the only person putting in any effort to get gigs, especially if you're booking gigs outside of your hometown. Most of the time, you're just cold-calling venues and bands to see if they'll add you to their lineup. Any band member with basic communication skills can do that, and it's important that everyone is contributing. But if you look back on your gigs over the past month, or even year, and realize none of them would have happened if it weren't for your proactivity, you might have a problem. If your bandmates have contacts at venues and aren't utilizing them to get shows, don't let yourself always be the one to pick up the slack. When you're a rising band without a booking agent, everyone should be willing to pool all of their contacts to get the best possible gigs.

3. You're the only one promoting

This one is a little more particular because not everyone is savvy at promotion. Being the 21st century, we assume everyone has a sense of how to run a successful social media campaign. In reality, some people just use Facebook to share pictures of their dog from time to time. It's okay – being in a band doesn't require guru-level social media expertise, but you shouldn't be the sole reason your band promotes anything. If one of your band members really just isn't cut out to design marketing plans and materials, have him or her drive around and put up posters. There's always a way to promote your music, whether you're designing flyers, copywriting, posting on social media, or sending press emails. If you're the only member who's going out of the way to promote your music, that means you're only using a fraction of the band's potential to get your music out there to new ears.

4. No one else is contributing to new material

Thom Yorke is the prinicipal songwriter for Radiohead, but if you look at their songwriting credits, they list every band member. That's because while Yorke might write the song's lyrical outline, the whole band contributes to the writing process, all the way up to engineering, production, and mastering. Maybe you're the singer and guitarist; you're the band's natural leader. It makes sense that you'll be crafting most of the songs, but you shouldn't be the only one contributing ideas (unless there's a clear, agreed-upon arrangement that you're the sole songwriter and the other members simply serve as a backing band for you). If you're telling the drummer what to play, writing the bass player's lines, etc. and it's purely because no one else is willing to contribute, that's not a positive sign. Or if everyone is asking you, "What do you want me to play?" that's also not a good sign. Sure, being a bandleader is admirable, and most bands need one to get material written. However, it shouldn't feel like you're dragging the band along with your ideas, holding their hands, and spoon-feeding them their parts.

On the other hand, if you're not the leader of a band, and everyone is coming up with ideas that aren't at all in line with your personal vision for your music, that's not a good sign either. You want to feel a part of the music and the direction of the sound – whether you wrote the song or contributed to its final arrangement.

5. You’re the only one putting money back into the band

Every once in a while after an exhausting gig, you might want to blow your payment at the bars or on a fancy meal, but you shouldn't be the only one responsibly investing band funds back into the band. Of course, part of the appeal of being a musician is the fun, artist lifestyle. But that doesn't mean hitting the bars should come before booking studio time. Maybe your other bandmates use their funds toward rent and groceries – you can't argue with that. But if no one else is investing your band's profits back into the group, things can turn muddy fast. When the time comes to record a new album, who's going to front the cash? Or when your rehearsal PA breaks and a new one is needed, where does that money come from? If your bandmates are irresponsibly spending their share of band income while you're saving every penny you can, that's not a good sign. Again, the occasional splurge is understandable, and you have to respect paying bills, but if it feels like every dollar that goes into your band members' pockets goes straight to the bar, that doesn't feel promising. Independent musicians sacrifice a lot due to lack of funds; don't let other bandmates keep the band suffering financially more than it needs to.

[The Essentials of Managing Your Band Fund]

6. They make it impossible to schedule tours

Oftentimes, the thing that holds back bands from touring is work. Your bandmates might work full-time at a bank to pay their rent, which is obviously fine. You have to survive. But if you're ready to take your music to the next level, and that means touring, you want members who will sacrifice and do what it takes to get your music out there. Sometimes people love music and love the dream, but at the end of the day, they can't commit to the life it takes to make it. Sometimes a day job is a better reality for a musician, and they just enjoy performing a few gigs a month while playing it safe at home. That's totally understandable, but it's best you're surrounded with other musicians who can commit to touring and gigging the same as you. Usually this requires flexible day jobs like serving, catering, temp-work, etc.

7. You're playing babysitter

If you're texting every band member asking them if they took off work for an upcoming gig or if they're able to practice, always planning the band's schedule, that's means you're a good coordinator, but it also could mean you're playing band babysitter. Again, it's good to have a leader, but ideally, everyone should coordinate together, putting in practice availability, planning to be available for gigs, etc. Being the leader in a band often means playing up the coordinator role, and that's understandable to a degree, but you need band members who will put forth the same effort. If your bassist can't make a show because he forgot to take off work when you reminded him five times, that's holding you back.

8. Everyone depends on you for instruction

What should I play for this song? What do you want to practice next? What dates are our upcoming gigs again? When are we going into the studio again? What time should I arrive to the gig? These questions should not reappear consistently. Everyone forgets things and, at times, needs a little bit of extra direction. It's natural, no matter who you are. But if you're focused on being the best musician as possible in your role in the band, you can't make sure everyone else is all the time, too. There needs to be mutual effort in understanding what's going on in the band's life.

 

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Sam Friedman is an electronic music producer and singer-songwriter based in Brooklyn, NY. His music blends experimental ambience with indie-driven dance music. In addition to pursuing his own music, he is a New Music Editor for Unrecorded and is passionate about music journalism. Check out his music and follow him on Twitter @nerveleak.