Photo by Tonepoetprod via Wikimedia Commons; used under Creative Commons
I had just moved to a new town with a thriving music scene. A lot of the local players had grown up together and been swapping band members for years. When people realized that I played, the phone started ringing. It seemed that a veteran gigging band in town had just lost their bass player. When I said "yes," I was handed a notebook filled with the band’s lyrics, chords, and structures of the songs, and the title to the band van. It was a 1977 Dodge Tradesman, 20 feet long and seven high, and powered by a V8 engine so massive that you could actually see the gas needle move towards empty when accelerating up an on-ramp.
Like most band vehicles, this was a used van, bought for cash and nursed along with frequent small repairs. The driver’s seat wasn’t bolted down and rocked like a rocking chair. And of course there was a sofa in back. But this vehicle had a few key features that got me thinking about what made the ultimate band van. Here are some examples you can use.
Fly under the radar
This van looked utterly nondescript. Usually the first thing musicians do when they get a band ride is to plaster the rear end with bumper stickers. After all, you want to honor all the artists that have influenced you. But doing this instantly indicates that there are musicians aboard. That means unwanted attention from thieves and the police.
Our van was silver and black, no stickers, no funky paint job. This way, passersby didn’t know we had gear aboard or assume they might find illegal drugs. For further camouflage, we also had a large magnetic sticker that identified us as part of the Moonlight Painting Company. Nobody breaks into a vehicle to steal paint. These stickers are cheaply made by your local print shop and can allow you to travel in stealth mode.
Add some privacy
Since this was a retired work truck, there were few windows. This made it hard to see things like a sleeping bass player, or any gear we had left out in plain sight. My bandmates had ingeniously constructed a wooden loft just below the small rear windows and covered it with carpeting. Most of our equipment – a drum set, amplifiers, and guitars – fit neatly in this space and could not be seen from outside. This provided an additional layer of security, and since this space could be packed tightly the gear didn’t slide around.
Always be prepared for band camp
Between the reclining front bucket seats, the love seat and the floor next to it, and that high loft out back, this van could sleep up to seven people. In fact, it was pretty comfortable as long as folks brought pillows and sleeping bags.
Musicians often travel to out-of-town shows not knowing where they’ll be sleeping, and friends offering places to crash don’t always come through. Having a vehicle to camp in is a great backup plan and will stay pretty warm even in autumn weather when it’s full of sleeping musicians. If you’re in a dodgy neighborhood, it’s also nice to know that you’re snoring just a few feet away from your instruments.
Gear up for emergencies
Musicians tend to be great respecters of Murphy’s Law. As such, we always stowed three critical items that should probably be in the back of any van or truck. Jumper cables were an obvious choice. The second piece of critical gear was a small portable air compressor that plugged into the cigarette lighter. The third, naturally, was a plastic gasoline can. This was carried empty. It’s usually illegal to carry gasoline in the passenger compartment of a vehicle, and gas has the unhelpful tendency to leak out of the container when it gets warm. There’s nothing less pleasant to travel with than a strong odor of gasoline fumes coming from your vehicle’s carpeting. But if you’re traveling on rural roads and run out of gas, it’s good to know you have a container to bring more rather than hoping the nearest Mom and Pop gas station sells them. All these items, of course, give you the ability to help other stranded motorists as well. This builds good band karma, of course. And they might even buy some merch!
Jesse Sterling Harrison is an author, recording artist, and part-time farmer. He lives in Massachusetts with his wife, three daughters, and a herd of ducks.
