The road to finding great bandmates can be long and tiring. With inevitably lots of turnover, trial and error, and silly disagreements, you'll eventually find the right talent for the job. But know that not only is your struggle real, it's also hilarious, as we all seem to meet the same types of musicians on this journey to finding the perfect bandmates.
1. The bragger
This is the guy who will not stop name and venue dropping, who cannot just shut the hell up. Stop the one-upping and play the damn song!
2. The master of unprepardness
No, it doesn't matter how many times you've sent out the set list, how many YouTube links came with it, or the lead sheet you may have even slaved over all night... they did not read it, they did not look at it, and they are always winging it. WTF!
3. The chronic double-booker
Bless his soul, but the guy can just not figure it out! Rehearsal is at 7:00 p.m. That does not mean show up at 8:10 p.m. talking about work/traffic/your dog escaping/the line at Dunkin'/forgetting your equipment. Figure it the hell out!
4. The over-player
Equal parts hilarious and annoying, this guy just can't play the freakin' part. Stop embellishing, dammit! You're a great player. We know this. It's why you're here. But for God's sake, will you just play what's written?! Just this once? We are in my basement, not Madison Square Garden, but I appreciate your chutzpah!
5. The lone rider
Alright, we've all run into this guy. Answers the post, comes prepared, pretty decent... but weird. Nothing but awkward social interactions, forced small talk, and a generally uncomfortable conversation every. single. time. But he plays okay and shows up... so that was the job description, right? Wrong! He is just too weird!
6. The diva
These are the people with a mind-blowing sense of entitlement. Maybe they went to a top-notch music school? Maybe they've shared the stage with someone important? Or maybe, just maybe, their mommy told them they were a special snowflake one too many times. We pray for you, Diva Musicians.
7. The perfectionist
Bless your soul for having perfect pitch but dammit, do you ever stop correcting people?! Yes, we all don't play perfectly every time. And you can bet your sweet behind that I'm fully aware that I played the wrong note, but thank you so much for the confirmation. No, I do not want to practice this song for a sixth time in a row. Yes, I am getting irritable. And yes, I will talk crap about you over a beer with the drummer after practice. Good day, sir!
Christine Occhino is the founder and artistic director of The Pop Music Academy and has experience working at Columbia Records/Sony Music Entertainment, in addition to working as a performing artist for over a decade. She has a bachelor's degree in music business & management with a concentration in entrepreneurship and vocal performance from Berklee College of Music, where she was a vocal scholarship recipient and former editor-in-chief of The Berklee Groove. She is also the proud founder and CEO of Hope In Harmony, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that brings music to those in need.