Not. Fun. At. All. (Image via genius.com)
Being a musician isn't all fun and games, although it may appear as such to a casual outside observer. Musicans and artists take their licks – usually on the road. But it's a priceless education, one you can only pick up while being a musician and making a go of it. There's no entrance exam, nor is there any application. You live and you learn (and no, I did not mean to quote Alanis there).
If you're just getting started, these are 10 really harsh, largely unfair, and "ugh!"-inducing lessons you'll learn eventually. But like any experiences in life, you can and will grow from them.
1. Your van will break down more than once
Image via giphy.comSo get AAA. Or at least be adept at tire changing.
2. If you park your van in a hotel parking lot without someone keeping an eye on it, you could have all your gear thefted
Image via giphy.comBe careful where you lodge, or you could find yourself a victim.
3. Touring in winter means driving on and through ice, which can lead to serious van accidents
So please, please be careful. I see it all too often, and it recently happened with Within the Ruins. Thankfully, those dudes are okay.
4. You don't make money off CD sales
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As Kid Rock recently said on Howard Stern, you make your money at the door.
5. A record label is a money-lending institution
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So when they spend money, you have to pay it back. Once I had an artist ask me to bust out my corporate AmEx to pay for his friend to get into a strip club with us. I did it, but he didn't realize that the label wasn't really paying for it, he was, since the expense was attributed back to artist T&E.
6. When starting out, you will go into debt
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Suck it up. Risk versus reward. It's also basic economics.
7. Get it in writing, or you may very well find yourself fucked out of money
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"It" means pretty much anything.
8. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is
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Be careful of scammer scouts, managers without clients, and other questionable folks who promise quick fame and an even quicker buck.
9. Shower socks or flip-flops are a must for truck stops...
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...because ew! Who wants to step on those floors? Ick with a side of ick!
10. You sometimes have to choose between the wide open road and your significant other/home
Lucero and their frontman Ben Nicols have written an entire catalog of flawless songs about this concept, so know that shit is hard, and you have to make some really, really tough choices.
So there you have it! Those are 10 harsh lessons you'll learn. I've watched many bands get their education through strife, and they survived. You will, too. Just be sure and suck the marrow from the experiences. Leave nothing behind, and allow even the knocks to enrich you.
Amy Sciarretto has 20 years of print and online bylines, from Kerrang to Spin.com to Revolver to Bustle, covering music, beauty, and fashion. After 12 years doing radio and publicity at Roadrunner Records, she now fronts Atom Splitter PR, her own boutique PR firm, which has over 30 clients. She also is active in animal charity and rescue.
