Context is everything if you're telling someone about your band. More specifically, what matters is with whom you're talking. While someone who's into independent music – even better, they like the style you play – might be interested in hearing more, the reaction you get from someone unfamiliar with music outside the realm of pop culture can often be quite different.
Is it their fault that their remarks were condescending or just plain awkward? Maybe not. There really are plenty of music fans still oblivious to independent music. Whether they should be faulted for that or not, I suppose, depends on the situation. But I think the majority of musicians existing outside the major label realm will agree they can live without ever hearing any of these things ever again.
1. "They just don't make good music anymore."
What you probably want to say: "Yes, they do, your scope is just ridiculously limited. In fact, my band makes good music. Now get bent!"
A more constructive response: "If you're basing that assessment only on mainstream music, then I get you. But there's a whole other world of bands and artists that aren't released on major labels that people follow. It's been a thing for quite some time; now some of them even get press in outlets you're probably familiar with, like Rolling Stone or Spin. You should check it out."
2. "I know someone who owns a bar. I can ask if they'll let you play!"
While it's normally best to say yes to opportunities that come your way, not every offer is a real opportunity. Playing a sports bar not equipped for live music – particularly if your resulting second-rate sound must compete with people screaming and clapping while they watch a big game on 10 different TVs – is probably not a chance to gain fans. More likely, it'll be a disaster. Still, uninformed but well-meaning people try to make these "connections" for indie bands all the time. In most instances, they're out of their element.
Of course, if the bar in question has hosted shows before or is looking to debut a new live setup, then you should totally try to work the connection. Either way, just be sure to get some info on the place before agreeing to anything.
3. "Oh, I play guitar! We should jam sometime!"
Wow, we definitely are just alike and will make great friends. Do you like pizza, too? Should a pizza date be our second hang? Probably not. Just because we're both musicians doesn't automatically mean we're into the same styles.
(Obviously, in the instance that someone with likeminded tastes invites you to play and you're interested, by all means, go for it.)
4. "Can you put me on the guest list for your next show?"
Thanks for your overwhelmingly genuine support, though.
5. "You should audition for American Idol."
Right, thanks. And since that show's approaching its final season, I think I'll also try all the other artist-in-a-box TV show opportunities.
6. "So, what's your day job?"
Rub it in, why don't ya?
7. "Maybe one day you'll make it big!"
Independent musicians don't necessarily equate accomplishment with fame, okay?
8. "Oh, I get it. You're a hipster band."
How about we immediately turn our backs to each other, run in opposite directions, and forget we ever met?
Jhoni Jackson is an Atlanta-bred music journalist currently based in San Juan, Puerto Rico, where she juggles owning a venue called Club 77, freelance writing and, of course, going to the beach as often as possible.